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Words of Life

Moving Beyond Abortion

By Brian Fisher June 22, 2014 Words of Life

Allow me to address post-abortive men. I am convinced the power to end abortion rests with you. Your stories, your pain, and your perspective are what is missing from the abortion dialogue in America. 

Your story, though painful, is also redemptive. If you have not yet come to grips with your own post-abortive past, healing must occur first. Recognize your role, take responsibility, and find healing. 

You may very well not have known that you were actively or passively ending a life. The mother of your child may have insisted on getting the abortion. You may have been getting pressure from family members, friends, or other authority figures to abort. 

Still, you were involved and need to own up to it. 

Recognizing and taking responsibility for your active or passive role in abortion is imperative if you want to join the effort to save others. Forgiveness, peace, and joy are all on the table for you. But taking ownership and confessing your role are necessary steps. As a follower of Christ, I am absolutely certain you can find forgiveness and redemption in Him. 

I’m asking you to do something that is extremely difficult. In some cases, my request may not be appropriate. However, you may be realizing that the time has come to end your silence. There may be a family member contemplating abortion who doesn’t know you were responsible for one. You may have a teenage son or father who believes abortion is a reasonable solution, and they had no idea the pain and tragedy you have suffered.

Your own relationships may be suffering, and you haven’t been able to identify why until now. There may be strain, distance, and anger for reasons that are now known. 

I don’t make this request lightly, and I urge you to carefully consider the cost of sharing your story. You might consider seeking the counsel of a trusted friend, a priest, pastor, or a counselor before you tell a family member. You could very well risk harming relationships, being ashamed, and creating tension between you and others if you share your past. 

Your story could also mean the difference between life and death for an unborn child. And your story will very likely save the life of a child not yet conceived. Your story may be enough to convince a family member who currently sees abortion as a solution that it is, in fact, terribly damaging to all involved. Your life-ending decision years ago could save a life in the future. 

Share your story with a broader audience. This takes a lot of guts, guys. There isn’t a man alive who, having come to grips with his abortive past, wants to tell strangers about it. And this isn’t an appropriate step for all men. But It is for many of you. And we won’t end abortion in America until those of you who can, do. 

Why? Because those forces and organizations who actively promote abortion fear you most. Your courage to take responsibility for the abortion, to admit you used and exploited a woman, and to admit your mistakes, is the most powerful tool in the effort to end abortion.

The reason is this: It takes a strong man to admit he has wronged someone. It takes a strong man to share that publicly. We need strong men. 

And your story is not only about failure and harm; it is about redemption and moving forward. It is about using your mistakes and selfishness and turning them into triumphs and selflessness. 

When America learns that thousands, tens of thousands, even hundreds of thousands of men are willing to admit their abortions were wrong, that they harmed women, children, and families, America will begin to wake up and realize we’ve made an awful, horrendous mistake. 

And we will work together to rectify that mistake.

You may be shamed; you may be judged. You may lose friends or family members. I certainly hope that isn’t the case. But I promise you you’ll also have advocates, supporters, and companions. And you can count me among them. 

There is a safe, non-political, non-partisan site for men and women who wish to share their post-abortion stories. Whether or not you choose to remain anonymous, I invite you to share your story at This site is intended to be an appropriate, honoring place for post-abortive parents who want to heal. 


Brian Fisher is the founder of Online For Life. This is an excerpt from Abortion: The Ultimate Exploitation of Women by Brian Fisher. Copyright ©2013 by Brian E. Fisher. Used by permission.

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